


Corrections; Fear of Rejection

by IntrovertedHappiness



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Backstory, Barry and Lup are only minor characters in this, Coming Out, Drinking, Gen, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Magnus realizes he's trans, Misgendering, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Puberty, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, magnus's moms :O!, not rr but tagging just in case, only at the end, that's the story slfjdk, this is about magnus being trans!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26954767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntrovertedHappiness/pseuds/IntrovertedHappiness
Summary: Magnus was eight years old when he was first called “young man”. The person who addressed him as such was his next-door neighbor, Mr. Mallory- an elderly old man whose memory faltered in and out occasionally. Magnus wasn’t expecting to be called a young man that day. Or any day, for that matter. He knew he wasn’t a typical girl. People called him a tomboy often enough. He didn’t have any problems with appearing more masculine, he had just never thought about it before.Magnus didn’t bother correcting him.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 60





	Corrections; Fear of Rejection

**Author's Note:**

> TW for drinking after the line break.

Magnus was eight years old when he was first called “young man”. The person who addressed him as such was his next-door neighbor, Mr. Mallory- an elderly old man whose memory faltered in and out occasionally. Magnus wasn’t expecting to be called a young man that day. Or any day, for that matter. He knew he wasn’t a typical girl. People called him a tomboy often enough. He didn’t have any problems with appearing more masculine, he had just never thought about it before. Magnus didn’t bother correcting him.

He was eleven years old when he started having periods. It wasn’t scary. His Ma and step-mom Amelia had talked about it with him before, so he knew what to expect. They said that the process might hurt, but he didn’t expect it to be _this_ bad. The first few days, he was curled up on his bed. Ma would bring him a heating pad and Amelia would hold his hand when she wasn’t working.

Magnus didn’t like periods but that wasn’t unusual. Ma said that she had never met a person who _enjoyed_ having them. Amelia said that they’d get through this together.

There were fatty swells of flesh on his chest now, too. He was given a training bra and only forgot to wear it sometimes. Soon enough, he was upgraded to a _bra-bra_ and it wasn’t terrible, but he didn’t really like it. But no girl liked puberty, right? There were kids in his class who were excited to look more _woman-like_ , but the idea just caused him discomfort. He’d been a girl his whole life without problem and girls grew up to be women. He knew this.

Part of Magnus wished that he didn’t have to grow up to be anything besides himself. There were things that society expected from women, he knew this. Everything seemed to be coming down on him too fast. To grow into a woman, to fit into the molds that people wanted, that was… uncomfortable.

Magnus was a big kid. His breasts got bigger, his voice got a more feminine pitch to it. He’d visit with cousins and listen to them. They all sounded the same. Pretty much everyone sounded the same that young. Why did society have to push roles on to them? On to _him_? 

At fifteen years old, someone at school commented on how _boyish_ he looked. They asked if Magnus was okay because all of the other girls were doing _girl things_ and Magnus didn’t want to. And of course, Magnus was okay! He just didn’t like those things!

That afternoon, he delivered groceries to Mr. Mallory. Magnus knocked on the door and waited a bit. When no one answered, he took the key from its hiding place by the flowerbed and let himself in. He left the groceries on the kitchen table and was rounding the corner to leave when Mr. Mallory came around the same corner and ran into him.

“Sorry, sir!” Magnus said, hurriedly helping Mr. Mallory get steady on his feet again. “I was just leaving, your groceries are on the table-”

“It’s fine, kid,” Mr. Mallory said. He beckoned Magnus to follow him to the kitchen. “Help me put stuff away, will you? I’m afraid I’m not as strong as I used to be.”

“Sure,” Magnus said.

Mr. Mallory patted his shoulder.

“That’s a good boy!” he said and something in Magnus glowed with pride.

Mr. Mallory kept talking as they put away groceries, but Magnus couldn’t really focus on him. Mr. Mallory had been calling him a boy for years. When Magnus delivered groceries, he had never corrected him. Mr. Mallory didn’t comment on his body changing like kids at school had. He didn’t ask why Magnus still dressed like- like _this_. Like a tomboy, like a _boy_ boy.

And then came the realization that he didn’t really want to be seen as a girl. It was fine, sure, but Magnus always _glowed_ after visiting Mr. Mallory. It felt good to be addressed like a boy. It felt good to dress like he was one. It felt good to not correct Mr. Mallory and there must be something wrong with him because he _should_ be wanting to correct him, right? He should be telling Mr. Mallory “no, I’m a girl, actually.”

But he didn’t.

And it made him feel _amazing_.

Magnus went home with shaking legs and locked himself in his room. This was weird, right? He was weird? Well, he had always been _weird_ , but this was _super weird_. He laid on his back on his bed and looked up at the ceiling. He tried to imagine himself as a guy.

Flat chest, no more bras.

Deep voice.

Hairy.

Man.

Him.

_Him_.

Ma knocked on his door for dinner sometime later. Magnus startled. He hadn’t realized how long he had been sitting there. He hurried to unlock the door and talk to Ma. If something was wrong with him, she’d want to know, right? Ma always asked to know if something was seriously bothering him. Amelia did too. But how would they take this? Their only daughter turned son. Would they be disgusted? Freaked out? Magnus wasn’t even sure what he wanted, but-

“I think I’m a boy,” Magnus blurted out before Ma could get one word out about dinner. She closed her mouth. Blinked. Magnus swiftly added, “I think! I’m not sure! Maybe I’m not, I don’t know. I- I just wanted to talk, because you said to talk, and I don’t know-”

“Hey, hey,” Ma said. She held out her arms and Magnus burrowed into them. “It’s okay, kiddo. I’m here if you wanna talk. Should I tell Amelia to put a pause on dinner?”

“Um,” Magnus said because talking about it right now was suddenly a lot more nerve-wracking. He thought of the kids at school and their concern about how he looked. He swallowed. “Yeah, I- I wanna talk to both of you first.”

“Got it,” Ma said, tousling his hair. “Let me go get her, okay?”

And, to his uttermost surprise, the talk didn’t turn out terrible. Ma and Amelia said that he was most likely just questioning his gender identity. They said this was _normal_. If he wanted to try out different pronouns or names, that he could. They’d do their best to accommodate and help him out. And, most shocking of all, it turns out that _lots_ of people were like him. Amelia described a support group she went to with _tons_ of gender diverse people. Ma said her best friend growing up was non-binary.

“It’s not bad to be the way you are,” Amelia said, squeezing his hand. “I mean, if everyone followed what society deems “normal” or “right”, your Ma and I wouldn’t even be married.”

That was a whole ‘nother can of worms that Magnus would have to learn about.

* * *

“I don’t know,” Barry said, face a bit flushed from the amount of wine they had drunk. He was curled up on the couch. Lup sat on the floor, playing a card game Magnus didn’t recognize. Magnus himself lounged over the other side of the couch, feeling hazy and soft. Barry continued, “I guess I just thought Sildar sounded cool-”

“You thought the name _Sildar_ sounded _cool_?” Lup laughed. “Holy shit, how old were you when you decided that?”

“Like- like twenty-three!” Barry said, blushing. Lup cackled and Magnus joined in. “Don’t shit on my name! I barely even use Sildar anymore, it’s just Barry-”

“I’m _so glad_ it’s just Barry,” Magnus said. “Just- just imagine- _“Hi my name is Sildar Hallwinter and I’m from a different planar system.”_ ”

Lup guffawed and Barry joined in this time.

“My name is Sildar Hallwinter and I like science and plain oatmeal!” Lup said.

“My name is Sildar Hallwinter and I-!”

“Shut _up_ ,” Barry said, grinning. “Because _Magnus Burnsides_ is just so much better!”

“I think so,” Magnus said, laughter fading away slightly. “I knew someone named Magnus and he was a big help in making me realize I was trans.”

“Oh?” Lup said and now the moment was somber. Magnus had never told this story before. Not that he didn’t want to share, he just couldn’t find a good time. But hell if “let’s drink and talk about being trans” night wasn’t the time.

“Yeah,” Magnus said. He sat up in his seat, reaching for his drink. “He was a neighbor of mine growing up. Magnus Mallory. He died two years before the Light fell on our plane, but, y’know. He was real old and couldn’t tell I was a girl and I never corrected him.”

“I _love_ old people for that reason alone!” Lup declared. “Had a grandpa who couldn’t tell what I was and honestly couldn’t care less. So like- _fuck_ yeah to naming yourself after that old guy.”

“Fuck yeah,” Magnus echoed.

“Here-” Lup said, scrambling to pick up her glass. “To Magnus- uh, what was it? To Magnus Mallory! Good thing his name wasn’t Sildar or you’d be screwed!”

Barry choked on his drink. Magnus raised his glass with Lup.

“To being too old to give a shit!” Magnus said and Lup whooped.

“I’ll drink to that!”

**Author's Note:**

> :O! I hope you guys enjoyed it! You can find me at [barry-j-blupjeans](https://barry-j-blupjeans.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr! As a trans man, I really just wanted to see more work with trans characters, it makes me feel nice.
> 
> Comments and kudos are really appreciated !!


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